S.C. Murdock - A poet of bravery and raw honesty; for heavy hearts & growing minds.
Serena Christine Lloyd, a Sonora-raised woman with the pen name S.C. Murdock is a newly published author whose book “A Really Big Deep Sigh” was released at the turn of the new year. Found in the crevasse of time between high school and adult life, Serena was among the many youthful souls in our town who felt the world beyond wasn’t yet attainable and life here seemed scarce of opportunity. Serena felt stuck; in time and life. It was then, in 2015 and 2016 that she wrote the poems within this book.
Serena has been a writer her whole life. Recalling her first attempt at writing a book she admits, “I was ten years old… I got 34 pages in and my computer broke, which broke my heart.” For her, writing is a necessary form of communication and a way to process emotions. It is a coping mechanism, “how I hold myself accountable, how I ground myself, how I experiment.” Her book is a collective of poems that came to life from this process.
A Really Big Deep Sigh is a blunt force of reckoning upon the trials of youth and young adulthood. The first poem introduced was written in January of 2015 - a testament to readers five years in the future. The poem is a fitting ode to readers who will soon dive into the pages of unrelenting honesty in one of the most difficult periods of life for all of us – figuring out who we are, where we stand, and most importantly, who is going to be along for the journey.
Of all the struggle laid out within the pages, Serena held onto the premonition of where she wanted to be and she took the time to grow into that place. This book is a piece of closure and strength wrapped up and bound for remembrance of the lessons and values it carries. It is a highly relatable struggle for those who did not know what they meant to the world during the transition from youth to adulthood – and daresay, highly relatable for those who still don’t know. During brief moments, the reader can picture this young woman sitting among friends out at night, alone in her room, or during a quick break at work; writing the thoughts that needed to escape in order to heal and move on. We all carry those moments with us.
“This is for you and your past and your future. This is yours.”
– S.C. Murdock, 25 January 2015
The voice present in every poem depicts both the writer and those in her life, never naming anyone specific, but consistently letting readers know that she wrote when it was cathartic in the exhaustion of all-consuming thoughts. “You,” is mentioned throughout and consists of the many people who she came to befriend, to love and to lose over the years these poems came to be. A reader in retrospect of the struggles of youth will clearly relate to the writer throughout much of the book. Yet, with the intense underlying suspects who caused the loses felt and inspiration for the poems, it is clear to see that we have all been the “you” in someone else’s story.
Allowing readers to gain insight into their own histories, hardships and mistakes is a rare talent among authors, yet Serena nailed it with unapologetic intensity.
Breaking open traditional stigmas, Serena is putting her most personal poems into the world to help others understand that each person experiences different kinds of hardship and trauma. “I just want everyone to feel like their trauma is important.” For her, those moments are what brought this book to be. Serena is a testament to all aspiring artists, entrepreneurs and the like. Self-doubt and self-reflection are not always a waste, but a necessary burden in order to grow. They may be the underlying factors that push an artist to be their very best and to create with intent; to get to the point where those feelings no longer exist. Serena reflects on this process often and feels pride in pushing through the mental hurdles to finally accomplish her first publication. For those aspiring to follow their passions and dreams, her story serves as an astonishing example of how consistent momentum will open new doors to reach those dreams.
After finishing this first collection of poems, she took a break from writing for a while to focus on building from everything she went through in those years. Serena is now working on her second book which she says is quite different from the first. “A Really Big Deep Sigh was what happened to me. This new book is what I did with that once the dust settled.” Mirroring the turns of her life, the second book is a semblance of the period to follow the first and the happiness attained within it. “Everything about my writing [now] is different, because everything about me is different. Once I realized that, my creativity has flourished.”
She has begun implementing her writing within all aspects of her life and has taken hold of it as an important part of her identity. “I’m working on a series called ‘Little Reminders,’ which is really just certain things I need to keep in mind.” From documenting healthier habits and positive goals, writing has helped keep life on track.
A Really Big Deep Sigh can be purchased online. For her readers, “It means so much to me at this point in my life. Thank you for being here.”
Follow S.C. Murdock on Instagram for snippets of her work and to take part in her journey as a growing poet.